Hello! I’m Seb
My name is Sebastian, aka Seb, and I’m an intimacy coach and educator as part of the TurnOn.love team. I’m also fortunate to be Dr. Aly’s husband in addition to her business partner.
I have more than a decade of experience working with neurodivergent folks, supporting them to increase their capacity for healthy relating. In addition, I’m a trauma-informed massage therapist specializing in nervous system regulation.
A little bit of my story
As a self-identified relational nerd, I have spent much of my life delving into the depths of what being a human in connection with others is all about. In college, I began exploring my queer and neurodivergent identities, which strengthened my abilities to relate with others in a way that honored my own desires and needs. I also started exploring ethical non-monogamy at this time with few resources and little language to support me to navigate it well. Through a lot of trial and error and the support of skilled mentors and teachers, I was able to refine my understanding of what it takes to love multiple people at the same time in a thoughtful and mature way. Also in college, I met my first wife and we dove head first into relentlessly working on our relationship and ourselves, seeking counsel from a variety of mindfulness teachers and relationship experts. Despite our best efforts, after 10 years together it became clear that we needed to put our relationship down and follow our own paths.
I spent the next 5 years focusing on my own healing and growth work and rediscovering who I was without that primary attachment bond that was such an integral part of my life. This was an incredibly challenging but also very important time in my life and it enabled me to be ready to cultivate a relationship with a solid foundation of trust and intimacy that has allowed Aly and I to form the kind of healthy marriage that I had always desired but had previously felt so inaccessible.
My work in the field of neurodivergence and as a trauma-informed massage therapist informs my work as an intimacy coach and educator.
My professional background
My training and professional experience is diverse and vast. I have almost two decades of experience working with neurodivergent individuals of all ages and levels of need. I have a variety of training, starting with Applied Behavior Analysis and then moving away from this methodology and focusing on more alternative approaches including the Floortime method and the work put forth by the Liddle Kidz Foundation. I have developed a wide range of specialized skills to support neurodivergent clients to feel more confident and comfortable navigating the complex world of relating, including helping them to feel and express emotion and self-regulate in meaningful ways, enhance their communication skills, and explore embodied sex-positive pleasure. In my coaching practice, this includes helping neurodivergent individuals and their partners build intimacy in ways that honor each individual's needs and ways of being that create more safety and pathways to thriving connection.
In addition to years of training with Dr. Aly to be able to understand and implement the TurnON.love coaching methodology, I also have a year of training with the Sexual Health Alliance (SHA), an AASECT accredited coaching program that brings together the top tier sex-positive and progressive experts in the field to train its coaches. Under the tutelage and supervision of Dr. Aly and SHA, I have refined my understanding of how to support people of all kinds to cultivate and maintain the intimacy they desire within themselves and their relationships.
I also work as a certified trauma-sensitive massage therapist trained though the National Holistic Institute with supplemental training from American Massage Therapy Association. My bodywork approach aims to find the intersection between deep tissue and nervous system regulation. I support my clients to feel safer and more comfortable inhabiting their body so they can develop the capacity to relate with their internal landscape in new ways. Through creating a safe space to practice communicating needs and boundaries this work offers the opportunity to heal emotional wounds in addition to physical alignments and build skills that translate to every aspect of their lives.
Work With Me
If you’re feeling inspired to take the next steps in your journey of self-discovery and sexual exploration, attend a workshop or reach out to me to discuss what coaching could look like for you. I invite you to TurnON your pleasure, intimacy and love.